Does anyone else ever feel weary remaining faithful? Reflecting on these moments of weary I find much of my exhaust comes not from remaining faithful, but from trying to do life "right". It's exhausting living up to pressures and bars that were never meant to be there. Taking the pressure of perfection off myself and learning to accept grace. Grace from myself to be ok with not being perfect and the eternal grace of God that affirms his love for me. My fears of "messing up" or "doing it wrong" or disappointing someone are washed away. They are washed away in the grace of encouraging friends, loving family, Creation...the grace that God accepts me as I am.
We just welcomed two little foster girls into our home. They are one and three, and for the first 24 hours were very quiet and scared. Today will be the second full day with them, and already they are "waking up" into who they really are. I know I'm not a parent, but it's in the moments of co-parenting with Susan and loving on the girls that I constantly ask the question "Am I doing this right? What if I mess up?! These aren't even your kids...DON'T MESS UP!". Whew. Not a very realistic way to live. I will mess up. I do mess up! I keep finding that living in fear of anything (mine being messing up) does not allow me to love well. Maybe John knew what he was talking about when he said " There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:18-20)
Just taking baby steps to live a life full of love spurred on by Christ's love and leaving fear behind.
2 comments:
What a beautiful post, thanks for this encouragement. And please note that you could never disappoint me. I adore you and always will.
sounds like you are doing "good work", dear bethany. i too am learning the freedom and spaciousness of God's love for us. How kind He is to both of us, to meet us where we're at.
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