friday night review.

it's almost as if i'm being led by something Bigger than me sometimes.  it fills me and keeps me going.  especially when i am so drained of myself.  this has been a big week.  lots of growing, praying, worshiping, trusting.  Whew. thank you Lord. my friday night consisted of wandering through the art show at school, printing off syllabi in the library and running into old friends followed by good conversation. 

i loved today. 

here is my favorite picture i looked at today...

sometimes i wish i was...

...up in the air. today was a hard day. it started off as a deceptively innocent day, but it was a tough one. anyone else? i decided to catch the 4:45pm showing of Up in the Air at 4:43pm which ended up being a great choice. and then home to create a dinner of Quinoa, black beans, spinach and salmon seasoned with cayenne pepper. delicious!

surrender

remember last night when i talked about surrender? the theme continued today...

a.m.

the day began by susan reading aloud job 37 as part of our spontaneous morning devotions. the chapter talks about the greatness of God.

(Ok, so maybe it doesn't have to do with surrender as much as knowing God is in control)

p.m.

this afternoon i got to spend some good time in the ocean. being more of a lake girl than an ocean girl, i quickly learned that fighting the waves or even trying to avoid the waves is not always a good idea. i most enjoyed the ride when i surrendered to the wave and let it just carry me.

p.m.
then tonight josephine, susan, courtney and i all walked down to the beach at 11:30 just to see it again. we missed it. while there susan said "everyone must think of one thing to surrender this year and throw it in the ocean!" i know that though i "threw" something in the ocean, it will be a process of daily surrender. not a one time toss.

Purpose

I'm currently sitting in a hotel room on a beach in Mexico. A small opprotunity that was offered in passing became reality and here I am. The question that has rolled over and over in my head is "What do I think I am doing?!" I like to have a purpose. A purpose for a vacation. A purpose for a finishing my Masters. In both of those things I do not see a purpose. Today I wondered, what if sometimes there is a purpose, I just don't know what it is. What if this spontaneous vacation is a time of healing. What if the Masters has a beautiful purpose that I am completely unaware of. (Besides the purpose of forcing me to grow up in some areas that needed some attention.) It's not like God told Job why he was suffering. All that to say...my thoughts today have humbled me in rememberance that I do not know (nor do I need to know) everything. As much as I may want, I may not always know the purpose of where I am at.

The ocean is huge. In case anyone forgot or has never seen it...it almost looks likea painting at first sight because of the vast size. In thinking about purpose, I've realized that surrender is necessary. Surrender that God is the only true god. Surrender that my life is His. The size of the ocean in its overwhelming size reminded me the more I willingly surrender my life to Christ, the less tired I will be from fighting.

Green Apron Moments

Working at an international super power coffee shop has its ups and downs. I often find myself complaining to friends and family about the hardships and woes. There are times though I find myself thinking "I really do enjoy this job sometimes..." Some recent highlights include..

• A potential drug deal involving a guy in blue and black leggings, swapping of envelopes and me trying to get the license plate number of the car (after unsuccessfully jump starting another customers car).
• Our beloved golf pro just left for Florida for three months...he will be back in March...he made sure and said 'good-bye' to all of us.
• Making up rapper names for the night crew...McDub-no-pickle; T-bone; and mine... Bumble Bee (I know, not too tough or gangsta...just wait till you hear the raps though).
• Talking about the difference between believing and knowing God with a very existential, fudge-brownie loving customer
• Being asked by (multiple) customers how my big paper was going. (It's done, thanks). That in itself was pressure to finish the paper!

I feel like the highlights shared show a weak glimpse into the shift of a barista at my store. I do have so much fun with the people I work with. My abs are now stronger because of the laughing that goes on...fun times, hard work...and lots of spilled milk.

Thursday.

I'm sitting at a coffeeshop trying to slow down a bit. Norah Jones is one of my favorite vocalists of all time and she is playing overhead...such a sweet moment. I am good. Tired, but good. The sunset was beautiful tonight. Thank you Lord, for moments like these.

full yet drained.

My heart is full and my eyes are tired.

I just had a lovely weekend with two of my favorite people in the world (I have a lot of favorites for you worrying). Granny and Grandpa and I enjoyed dinner with the Arnold's, ate lunch at a restaurant decorated like a train station, and then I had to leave. It is always so sad leaving family!

Last weekend I babysat for some friends who were on a retreat. On Saturday afternoon the kids and I joined another babysitter and kids at the park for some football. Upon meeting the youngest who was five years old he looked at me and said "You're puny!" Trying not to be insulted I inquired "What do you mean by puny?" He explained "You're so puny I bet you can't hold a phone to your ear! I bet you fall in the holes in the phone!" Pth. What do you say to that?!